Wednesday, March 11, 2015

"Kingsman" puts Guy Noir back in a cheerful mood. Go figure

The undercover correspondent we keep on retainer in an Atlantic seaboard city that knows how to keep its secrets, Guy Noir - Private Eye, just called me to tell me how much he enjoyed "Kingsman," which he calls "a very good and happy James Bond movie" that has "much more heart than foul language or innuendo." He adds: "And all the bad leaders of the earth [in this story there were quite a few] literally fond their heads being blown up in the climax. You probably have to see it to begin to appreciate it."

A reliable measure of his change of disposition is the list of accompanying links he sent me for review, "five positives," he calls them:Yes. Cinderella. Would it not warm your heart now to see a review of Cinderella written by Guy Noir?


Raider Fan


Disney; reliably pro-fairy



Save the world, sodomize a princess? I'm surprised Guy Noir liked it, given this reward was the movie's final word.

Before that, there was the scene of slaughter in a Church, which is queued up in dialogue as justice for their racism and homophobia.

Followed by the scene of menace when Eggsy's mother tries to hack her way through the door of a bathroom to kill her daughter.

These scenes were more disturbing than any of the other cartoon violence.

I give the movie an "O" for Morally Offensive. The climate-skeptic ends do not justify the means. And I was heartily sorry I saw it. I was misled by reviews from otherwise reliable writers; I should have read down into the comments on those reviews.

So this is my comment, in hopes I might save somebody else the heartbreak.