Thank you Gary Broyhill, this works! Yes, this is my friend who is a technical genius at Lenoir Rhyne who performs exorcisms on the side. I couldn't quite understand the cryptic ancient incantations he uttered over my computer or whether the language was Latin, Greek or Ugaritic, but the machine was instantly exorcized.
By the way, this means that we are safely returned from the happy nether regions of the United States as well. Good trip.