Here's what Rob Long has to say:
"She's a 26-year-old, highly sexualized halfwit with nothing, really, to her credit. She's silly and pointless, and whether she knows it or not, more often the butt of the joke than in on the joke. We don't know for certain what the next five or ten years will bring for this tiny-brained, sexy little zero, but we're all pretty sure it doesn't end in Oslo, at the Nobel Peace prize ceremony. It doesn't end in the State Department, as the Ambassador Plenipotentiary to this hotspot or that. It doesn't end in the lobby of Sequoia Capital, a Silicon Valley-based venture-capital fund, with the specs to a revolutionary new search-engine algorithm in her Bottega Veneta attaché. It doesn't end with her on the shuttle to Boston with a copy of Grant's Interest Rate Observer.It almost makes you want to weep.
"No, it ends in a liquor store, or a drug overdose, or a car accident, or, worse, in obscurity. It ends as a punchline to a series of monologue jokes by Conan and Jay and Dave and Craig and Jimmy and Jon and Stephen and whoever else needs to fill 30 seconds of TV time with a fast, easy (just like Paris! See? Even I'm doing it!) laugh line about a rich, stupid, sad, almost-30 skank.
"... And, honestly, what would we have her do? The poor thing doesn't have a brain in her head. She's purpose-built for mindless partying and promiscuous sex -- all hair and smoldering looks and shapely shapes, without a meaningful bone in her body....
"Why do we want to see her humiliated so deeply? Why do we relish the sight of her slinking off to jail? Why does she offend us so? ...
"God forbid ... What if she finds Jesus, or global warming, or -- it's almost too awful to contemplate -- Darfur in there? Would we really prefer the serious, concerned Paris -- she'll wear serious glasses and trim suits, push down the curves and stop the sexy pouts -- appearing with all of the other celebridiots, droning away about the planet and the poor and the importance of buying local?
"Paris is our party girl.... Of the many, many, many social ills we now confront as a country and a culture, Paris Hilton ranks up there with Public Gum-Chewing and Insufficient Attention to the Beauty of Carribbean Dance...."
[Acknowledgement: Rob Long, "American Party Girl: The prisonerette in L.S." National Review, July 9, 2007, pp. 35-36.]