Passing of a friend

Alexander Nikolaevich Shalfeieff died of a massive heart attack sustained while driving on the expressway, Sunday March 25, 2007, in Sapporo, Japan. No other cars or people were injured. Alex, or Sasha, was a childhood friend of mine. I remember his parents being called "White Russians," distinguishing them from the "Reds." They had escaped Communist Russia through China and come to Japan where they started over even though they were never able to establish citizenship. Their three sons, however, did acquire Japanese citizenship, which yielded some remarkable ironies, as when, speaking impeccable Japanese, they would try to pick fights with their fellow Japanese classmates in school by telling them that they were actually Koreans!

Alex was in my 8th and 9th grade classes at the Hokkaido International School in Sapporo several 'lifetimes' ago. He was a little older than the rest of us, much taller, and won many basketball games for us. Back in those days, most of the students attending the school were missionary kids, although there were some with parents in business and the diplomatic corps. Our home room teacher was a wonderful Missouri-Synod Lutheran gentleman (now deceased) by the name of Mr. Kempf. I remember Alex and I getting into trouble a couple of times with poor Mr. Kempf. Now the school has many more native Japanese students enrolled in order to improve their English proficiency for later study abroad.

My memories of the Shalfeieff family are both happy and sad. The happy memories include visits to their Sapporo home where Mrs. Ariadna Shalfeieff would fix us wonderful Russian meals, complete with piping hot hand-made peroshiki, which were about as good as anything you could imagine eating. They had a wonderful house with big cats dozing on the mantle and big hunting dogs they occasionally let into the living quarters. I also remember their home being open to all. On one occasion at dinner we had, as I recall, a Russian Orthodox family (the Shalfeieff's) hosting several Protestants, a Muslim, and, I think, a Jew. (Any Japanese visitor might have been simultaneously a Buddhist, Shintoist, and, in some sense, a Confucianist as well.) They were large-hearted folk who lived generously. To this day, Mrs. Shalfeieff sends my father an exquisite fruitcake every Christmas.

The sad memories include the progressive deaths of members of the Shalfeieff family. The father, Nikolai, died of a heart attack many years ago. Then, when the boys were in college, Andrei, the youngest of the three, suddenly and unexpectedly committed suicide, gassing himself to death in his Tokyo apartment. And now Alex, the eldest son, has died of a heart attack, leaving Peter, the middle son, to tend to his grieving mother. My friend, John Bell, whose daughter was received into the Church in Atlanta this Easter, also knew Alex. In fact, his family roomed and boarded the Shalfeieff boys during their high school years in Tokyo. He is still in shock over Alex's passing, as am I.

Over the years I have received many beautiful Christmas cards from Mrs. Shalfeieff, written in a magnificent hand, catching me up on family news and always asking for prayer for Andrei, the youngest son. I have prayed, in my poor fashion, as I have remembered to do so. Here I ask any of you willing to join us in remembering in your prayers the entire Shalfeieff family, the deceased (Nikolai, the father; Alex, the eldest son; Andrei, the youngest son), and those who survive them, the living (Ariadna, the mother; Peter, the middle son; and Alex's wife, Kay, and their children). May God be with them and be gracious to them, look kindly upon them, and give them peace.