Move over "same-sex marriage": hello pet animals!!

Benjamin recently posted this fascinating bit of information on his blog under the banner headline: "Brooklyn bishop calls for marriages between people and pets"!

"Why can't we have marriages between people and pets?" DiMarzio said on Albany radio station WROW. "I mean, pets really love their masters."

"Of course," added Benjamin, "His excellency is being sarcastic, pointing out the 'slippery slope' which comes from the breakdown of traditional marriage." He also added, in a slightly more alarming note, "But, on the other hand, I always did think my cat was kinda cute . . . ."

For the full story, have a look at Benjamin's blog at Ad Limina Apostolorum

In other related news, guess what: ANIMALS ARE PARISHIONERS, TOO!!!

This just came our way from David Mills: Addison Hart sent round this article with the comment "Example 5,674 of something no one could ever parody . . .": Purr Box Goes to Communion At St. Francis Episcopal; A Group 'Bark Mitzvah'. It begins:

For the first time in 10 years, Mary Wilkinson went to church one Sunday in January. She sat in a back pew at St. Francis Episcopal Church in Stamford, Conn., flipping through a prayer book and listening intently to the priest's sermon.

What drew Ms. Wilkinson back into the fold was a new monthly program the church introduced -- Holy Communion for pets. As part of the service, the 59-year-old retired portfolio manager carried her 17-year-old tiger cat to the altar, waited in line behind three panting dogs to receive the host and had a special benediction performed for her cat, Purr Box Jr. "I like that the other parishioners are animal people," Ms. Wilkinson says.

With pews hard to fill, a small number of otherwise-traditional clergy are welcoming animals into the flock. Some are creating pet-friendly worship services, while others have started making house calls for sick animals. Some are starting to accompany pet owners to the vet when they euthanize a beloved pet. Occasionally, clergy are even officiating at pet funerals and group "bark mitzvahs." Congregants at temple Beth Shir Sholom, in Santa Monica, Calif., have an animal prayer sung to the tune of "Sabbath Prayer," a song from "Fiddler on the Roof": "May our God protect and defend you. May God always shield you from fleas." His brother Robert (both brothers are contributing editors, by the way) responded by quoting Charles Bridges, a minister of the Church of England in the 19th century:

"The moment we permit ourselves to think lightly of the Christian ministry, our right arm is withered; nothing but imbecility and relaxation remains."

Now, I like the blessing of the animals on St. Francis' feast day and I think the old engravings of farmers in country churches in England sitting in the pews with their old dog curled at their feet charming, but this kind of thing leaves me snickering rudely. I suppose what I find objectionable is the cutesiness of it, the treating of Christian worship -- which should be a solemn (a word that in this case includes real joy) encounter with the One who created the cosmos and redeemed your soul -- as a kind of theme party.

None of these people would expect to take their pets to a nice dinner party or a good restaurant or a job interview, something they took seriously, something for which they wanted real solmenity. It's only church, which they must not take seriously, to which they want to take their pets.

We are not animalphobes, by the way. Our home now contains one dog, half beagle and half (we think) golden retriever, whom we got as a puppy from the Humane Society (named Ben for reasons I can't remember), two rabbits, one guinea pig (being reddish, named Ron for the red-headed boy in the Harry Potter books), and two blue rats (named Numero, with the accent on the second syllable, and Fred, the latter being our fifteen-year-old's choice, fifteen being a smart-alecky age). We would have a cat but two of the children are terribly allergic.

Amazing . . .