Abraham Lincoln reputedly once asked "If you call a tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?"
Just moments ago, legislation was signed into law by the usual suspects, granting equal rights to five-legged dogs serving in the US K-9 Corps. Said legislation brought to an end years of repressive discrimination excluding five-legged dogs from openly identifying their uniquely gifted status and allowing them now, for the first time in American history, to serve openly with pride. Five-legged partners of five-legged service dogs will now be able to apply for full spousal benefits (veterinary insurance coverage, etc.) previously available only to four-legged dogs with tails. This is the dawn of a new day in K-9 civil rights that should make the hearts of red-blooded Americans swell with pride. Woof-woof!
Never mind the small detail of Lincoln's totally bigoted remark: "Calling a dog's tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."