Friday, January 26, 2007

DUI - North Carolina Style

As St. Paul says in I Corinthians 15:3 -- "For I delivered to you . . . what I also received" -- just as I received it, that is, in an email this morning:
Only a person in North Carolina could think of this. From Catawba County, where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in Hickory, North
Carolina. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off a few times; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his utter amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

What will these zany "Rednecks" think of next??
[Acknowledgements: as a nod in the direction of full disclosure, we note that Snopes.Com claims that this story, told as a true story, has been circulating the Internet since June of 1997 (see "De Coy Drunk"). Hat tip to J.B.]

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