Garrison Keillor on Kerry

• John Kerry has two problems. People outside the northeast don't know who he is, and people inside the northeast do.
  
  
• John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
  
  
• What is John Kerry's favorite breakfast place?
  The Waffle House.
  What does he order?
  Flip-flop flapjacks.

(Courtesy of Prairie Home Companion, April 17, 2004)